CAPE CANAVERAL - President Obama spoke to a group of NASA employees yesterday and used the occasion to reveal new details about his plans for space exploration.
“A long time ago, a rotund Brooklyn bus driver with a heart of gold by the name of Ralph Kramden used to promise his long-suffering wife that he was going to send her to the moon. One of these days, he used to say.”
At this Mr. Obama smiled at Mrs. Kramden, who was seated in the front row.
“Well,” he continued, “One of these days has finally arrived. Alice, you’re going to the moon!” he shouted, bulging his eyes and shaking a clenched fist in her direction. “You hear me?” Mr. Obama bellowed. “Bang! Zoom! To the moon!” he shrieked, and thrust his arm toward the sky.
Mrs. Kramden was observed forcefully moving her head from side to side, repeatedly mouthing the word ‘no’ before armed guards dragged her away.
The President said Mrs. Kramden’s lunar mission would show the world that his administration is committed to keeping America in the vanguard of interstellar foolishness.