Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Signs Exclusive Contract With Fruit Of The Loom

mohammedNEW YORK – Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, has signed an exclusive contract with Fruit of The Loom, Inc. that requires him to wear only Fruit of The Loom undershirts for the duration of his pending trial in Federal Court.

Mr. Mohammed is accused of planning the attacks on the World Trade Center which led to the deaths of over three thousand Americans.

“I think we can all agree that nobody wears an undershirt like Khalid,” said Joe Dunn, an underwear industry analyst. “I think Fruit of The Loom is banking on a long trial, to allow maximum exposure for their product.”

Mr. Dunn speculated that people following the proceedings in the courtroom are going to pay close attention to Mr. Mohammed’s undershirt.

“Folks are going to be curious about the ability of this shirt to absorb enormous amounts of perspiration. How well this shirt holds the sweat of a homicidal maniac over the course of direct examination and cross-examination will determine how much of a sales bounce Fruit of The Loom gets from this deal.”

Nov 19