Dracula Files Product Liability Suit Against Wooden Stake Manufacturers

Count DraculaTRANSYLVANIA – Count Dracula, the 435-year-old Transylvanian nobleman and vampire, has filed a class action suit against seven manufacturers of wooden stakes, alleging that the product they put into the stream of commerce ”is inherently defective and has proximately caused serious personal injury to similarly situated vampires.”  The Count is seeking damages in excess of $75,000 plus punitive damages.

“The damn things are not safe,” Dracula told a reporter.  “You can quote me on that.” 

Dracula directed all further inquiries to his counsel, Gloria Allred.

Oct 29