Obama Says Gitmo Detainees To Be Transferred to Rep. Murtha’s Basement

murtha_1WASHINGTON – President Obama said that the prison at Guantanamo Bay will be closed despite the Senate’s refusal to provide funding to do it, and that ”money will not be an issue.”  The President announced that Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania will house the first wave of relocated Guantanamo detainees in the spacious and well-appointed basement of his Johnstown residence.

Last January, Murtha, an outspoken critic of the Iraq war, said that he would house the detainees in his district.  “Sure, I’d take ‘em.  They’re no more dangerous in my district than in Guantanamo.”

Yesterday, a Murtha aide who asked not to be identified admitted that Murtha was taken aback when he learned the President planned to send the detainees to live with him.

Murtha told a reporter that he would ”would make the best of it” by borrowing cots and ”cracking open up a new bar of soap” for the shower in his basement.  ”I hear they stink pretty bad.” 

Murtha conceded that his wife, Joyce, ”isn’t crazy about taking on known terrorists as borders.” He chuckled: “She’s worried they might slit her throat or something.  I’ve told her that’s unlikely, if she remembers to keep the door to the basement locked.”

May 22