Hero Pilot’s Shopping Cart Careens Out of Control, Injures Five

photo-one-sullenbergerDANVILLE, CALIFORNIA - Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger, the heroic pilot who miraculously landed a US Airways jet into the Hudson River, lost control of his shopping cart at a local supermarket last night and seriously injured five people.

Sullenberger was trying to return the cart to a shopping cart corral when it suddenly careened across the parking lot and slammed into a crowd of shoppers.

Eyewitness Velveeta Lugosi said: “He was weaving like a blind man. He had no idea how to drive that thing.”

Sullenberger blamed the accident on a collision with a flock of birds, but officials at the supermarket ruled out that explanation and concluded the likely cause was operator error.

Jan 23