http://carbolicsmoke.com News Unencumbered By The Facts | Proud Publishers of Fake News Since 2005 Mon, 22 Mar 2010 10:58:02 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democratic Congressional leaders admitted for the first time that they are "extremely pessimistic" about the reelection prospects of most House members who voted in favor of health care reform last night.  The leaders have retained high-powered attorney Tom Hagen to advise pro-health care reform representatives about what they should do now, in light of ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/22/democrats-who-voted-for-health-reform-advised-what-to-do-now/ NFL Football is the biggest source of money for online betting sites, so few sportsbooks give out free NFL picks to help you win. BetUS.com is one of them. They've been in business for over 15 years, offering the best bonuses and customer service in the industry. Count on them if ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/21/9967/ Local bon vivant Noah Swayne revealed that he "doesn't feel alive" unless his triple-banded metal collar bomb is securely locked around his neck. "First thing I do when I get home from work is slap on the collar [bomb]," said Swayne. "I know the neighbors must think it's strange seeing me cutting ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/19/local-man-the-only-time-i-feel-alive-is-when-im-wearing-my-collar-bomb/ http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/19/the-swallows-return-to-capistrano-but-first-stop-to-terrorize-residents-of-bodega-bay/ http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/17/new-yorks-st-patricks-day-parade-marred-by-sobriety-marchers-walking-in-straight-lines/ Commentary by Carbolic Smoke Ball Editor Horace Peckham: Well now, I'll begin at the beginnin', says I, and here, on the feast to honor himself, Saint Patrick, no less. Instead of telling it to you in the Irish, as is my custom, I'll spell it out in English so that even ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/17/carbolic-flashback-march-17-1845-if-theres-one-thing-us-irish-can-count-on-its-the-potato/   http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/16/obama-announces-new-strategy-to-get-health-care-plan-passed-ramming-speed-nancy/ CHICAGO - The atomic scientists at the University of Chicago who maintain the Doomsday Clock, the timekeeper that warns of global annihilation when the clock strikes midnight, accidentally sprung the hands of the clock forward one hour Saturday night, pushing them past midnight. "Our janitor didn't realize that the hands of the ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/15/daylight-savings-disaster/ http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/15/holy-shit-beware-the-ides-of-march-i-just-figured-out-that-ides-must-mean-the-15th-what-a-dumbass-i-am/ MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. - Police continue to investigate allegations that the Prince sexually assaulted a 20-year-old member of a different royal family who works as a scullery maid for her step-mother, the Queen.  This news outlet does not name alleged victims of sexual assault. The woman accused the Prince of non-consensual kissing while she ... http://carbolicsmoke.com/2010/03/12/princes-attorney-his-highness-is-completely-innocent-of-sexual-assault/