Runaway Prius Declared A “Copycat Incident”

PriusSAN DIEGO – The dramatic sudden acceleration of a 2008 Toyota Prius that sped up to more than 90 miles per hour on an interstate near San Diego has been determined to be a copycat incident, according to Toyota engineers.

“What happened is very simple: the runaway Prius was modeling its behavior on the sensational publicity given to other Toyota sudden acceleration cases,” said Toyota Chief Engineer Dr. Emil Tanaka. 

“Cars are not stupid, you know,” Dr. Tanaka explained. ”If a car is miswired or otherwise emotionally unstable — maybe it’s had a bad day on the highway — it may engage in risky behavior mimicking sensational stories in the news, just to get attention. If it weren’t for all this damn unfair publicity to Toyota, this car wouldn’t have acted up.”

Mar 11

Craigslist Plans to Remove “Med Student Looking to Rob, Kill” Category From Web Site

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Apr 23

Undefeated M.I.T. Robotics Team Snubbed Yet Again by NCAA Selection Committee

mitsnubSenior Co-Captains Keith Scollick and Seth Rosenbaum lament, “We never get any respect. Or any women.”

Mar 20

Top-Secret Blueprints for Obama’s Helicopter Found in Iranian Computer

leiaplansFBI names Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan as “person of interest”

Mar 3

Politicians Twittered During Obama’s Speech

joetwitterVice President Biden’s first message: “I could have said that better. So could Neil Kinnock. LOL.” And his second: “Four years of sitting next to this death masque? That’s gonna really freak me out.”

Feb 26

Public Warned: As of February 17, Anyone Without a Digital Converter Box Will Not be Able to See or Hear Analog People

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Jan 8

Digital TV Transition Just Two Months Away

Network execs promise broadcasts will “stimulate your senses like never before,” insult your intelligence just the same

 

Dec 12

Cyber Monday Marred by Fraud, Identity Theft, Escaped Replicants

“All they wanted were the same presents the rest of us want,” said retired Blade Runner Rick Deckard. “All I could do was watch them hack.”

Dec 2

Next Update to iPhone Constitution App to Restore the Parts Bush Took Out

New software will be available for download on January 20th

Dec 1