PriusSAN DIEGO – The dramatic sudden acceleration of a 2008 Toyota Prius that sped up to more than 90 miles per hour on an interstate near San Diego has been determined to be a copycat incident, according to Toyota engineers.

“What happened is very simple: the runaway Prius was modeling its behavior on the sensational publicity given to other Toyota sudden acceleration cases,” said Toyota Chief Engineer Dr. Emil Tanaka. 

“Cars are not stupid, you know,” Dr. Tanaka explained. ”If a car is miswired or otherwise emotionally unstable — maybe it’s had a bad day on the highway — it may engage in risky behavior mimicking sensational stories in the news, just to get attention. If it weren’t for all this damn unfair publicity to Toyota, this car wouldn’t have acted up.”


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mitsnubSenior Co-Captains Keith Scollick and Seth Rosenbaum lament, “We never get any respect. Or any women.”


leiaplansFBI names Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan as “person of interest”


joetwitterVice President Biden’s first message: “I could have said that better. So could Neil Kinnock. LOL.” And his second: “Four years of sitting next to this death masque? That’s gonna really freak me out.”


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Network execs promise broadcasts will “stimulate your senses like never before,” insult your intelligence just the same

 


“All they wanted were the same presents the rest of us want,” said retired Blade Runner Rick Deckard. “All I could do was watch them hack.”


New software will be available for download on January 20th