Blog Archives

Zimmerman Defense Celebrates as Paula Deen Selected to Jury

Posted in Crime, Legal News

Is George Zimmerman Too Fat for Dancing with the Stars?

Posted in Crime, Legal News, Media, Pop Culture

First Monday in October: Supreme Court Introduces New Court Crier Michael “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” Buffer

WASHINGTON – U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts promised court watchers a more “fan friendly judicial branch” as the high court launches a new term today.  The most obvious change is that legendary ring announcer Michael Buffer has been named court crier and will start

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Posted in Legal News, U.S. News

Kagan Surprises Senate Judiciary Committee With Home Made Cookies

WASHINGTON – Elena Kagan, President Obama’s choice to replace retiring Justice John Paul Stevens on the United States Supreme Court, moved one step closer to confirmation yesterday when she surprised the Senate Judiciary Committee with two dozen freshly baked cookies. Senator Jeff

Posted in Extras, Gender News, Legal News, Politics, U.S. News

Furious Justice Stevens Victim of Whoopee Cushion Prank To Open Last Day On Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Justice John Paul Stevens sat on a whoopee cushion prior to the beginning of oral arguments Monday on his final day as a member of the United States Supreme Court and sent his colleagues into convulsions of laughter.

Posted in Extras, Legal News, U.S. News

Obama Nominates Woman From Witness Protection Plan To High Court

WASHINGTON – The White House revealed that Elena Kagan, nominated on Monday to fill Justice John Paul Stevens’ seat on the Supreme Court, has been in the Federal Witness Protection Program, WITSEC, for the past two decades and only acquired her

Posted in Legal News, U.S. News

Local Lawyer Blames Eight-Year-Old Son for Losing Trial

PITTSBURGH – Local attorney Noah Swayne said his eight-year-old son, Ethan, is “solely responsible” for losing a multi-million dollar product liability trial the elder Swayne was trying on Take Your Child to Work Day. “He really stunk up the joint,”

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Posted in Legal News, Local News

Supreme Court Rules Corporations May Contribute to Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a contentious 5-4 decision authored by Justice Antonin Scalia, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled yesterday that corporations may lend financial support to the Supreme Court.  The decision follows closely on the court’s holding last month that corporations may

Posted in Ads, Business, Legal News

Man Sues TV Station for Blurring Face, Claims He Can’t Un-blur It

PITTSBURGH – Noah Swayne, 32, is suing WPXI-TV for blurring his face in a news story last week because, he says, he cannot un-blur it. Swayne’s face was blurred in a report dealing with alleged wrongdoing by his employer.  “Now

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Posted in Legal News, Local News, Media

Roman Polanski Cuts Plea Bargain, Will Wear Sign Outside Mall: “I Had Quasi-Consensual Sex With A 13-Year-Old”

LOS ANGELES – Roman Polanski has worked out a plea bargain with the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office that will keep him out of prison but will force him to wear a sign outside the Beverly Center Mall every day for one

Posted in Legal News

Sandra Day O’Connor Wants Supreme Court Seat Back, Tells Sotomayor to “Take A Hike”

WASHINGTON – Sandra Day O’Connor, who retired from the Supreme Court in 2005 to care for her ailing husband, says she wants her seat back now that her husband, John J. O’Connor, III, is dead. Mr. O’Connor died Wednesday of

Posted in Legal News

Roethlisberger’s Former Lovers Subpoenaed for Depositions in “Rape” Trial

Posted in Extras, Legal News

Coroner Declares Jackson “King of Prop”

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Posted in Entertainment, Legal News, Pop Culture, U.S. News

Sotomayor Spontaneously Combusts, Firefighter Frank Ricci Suggests Letting Fire Burn Itself Out

WASHINGTON – Wise but fiery Latina Judge Sonia Sotomayor spontaneously combusted at her Senate confirmation hearing yesterday while listening to the testimony of white firefighter Frank Ricci, one of the men she ruled against in a celebrated reverse discriminaton case.   “I

Posted in Legal News

Sotomayor Says She Uses Mood Ring to Decide Cases

WASHINGTON – On the first day of her Supreme Court confirmation hearing, Judge Sonia Sotomayor told the Senate Judiciary Committee that if confirmed, she will rely on her “mood ring” to decide cases.  A mood ring contains a thermochromic liquid crystal that

Posted in Legal News

Shocking Coincidence: Fireman-Stripper Hired to Entertain Sotomayor Was Frank Ricci – Plaintiff in Controversial Discrimination Case

NEW YORK – File this one away in the “it’s a small world” drawer. Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s colleagues on the Second Circuit Court of Appeals threw a farewell party for her yesterday in anticipation of her appointment to the United

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Posted in Legal News

Scalia, Alito Fined for Excessive Celebrating Following Reversal of Sotomayor Decision

Later, Justices fete Justice Souter in retirement luncheon at Olive Garden WASHINGTON – Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito were fined $250 for engaging in excessive celebrating following the announcement of the high court’s decision in Ricci v. DeStafano, which reversed Supreme Court nominee

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Posted in Legal News

Sotomayor Reveals Membership in All-Women’s Club of Warriors

WASHINGTON – Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor revealed that she is a member of a group of all-female warriors called The Amazons.  The organization, which claims to predate the Trojan War, describes itself as “helping women pursue more significant dreams, ambitions,

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Posted in Legal News

Sotomayor’s Strong Courtroom Manner Becomes Issue

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Posted in Legal News

Breaking News: Justice Ginsburg Blocks Brake Fluid Flush to Local Man’s Plymouth Volaré

WASHINGTON – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg issued an order stopping Jupiter Chrysler Plymouth of Chevy Chase, Maryland from making repairs to Noah Swayne’s 1981 Plymouth Volaré, including a long-awaited brake fluid flush, sources close to Mr. Swayne revealed. Mr. Swayne, a Bethesda construction worker,

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Posted in Legal News
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