Blog Archives

CSB Tips to Keep Warm this Winter

Facing sub-zero temperatures this week, Americans are being urged to follow these fun and unconventional techniques to keep warm: Set ovens to “Self-clean mode” and keep the door open. Pipes could freeze, keep your hair dyer on high and rest

Posted in Environment, Health, Local News, U.S. News, Weather

BP Miracle: Virgin Mary Spotted in Oil Slick, Tells Obama to “Keep On Drilling”

NEW ORLEANS – Executives of beleaguered British Petroleum finally got some good news yesterday when cleanup workers reported that they’ve seen the image of the Virgin Mary in the massive oil slick, and that she has a message for President Obama. “She said, ‘Don’t let this

Posted in Business, Environment, Extras, U.S. News

BP Rolls Out Big Guns To Clean Up Oil Spill

Posted in Environment

Creators Of “Lost” Hired To Devise Satisfying Conclusion To Oil Spill Disaster

HOLLYWOOD – British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward announced yesterday that the company has abandoned efforts to cap the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and, instead, has hired Damen Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to devise a conclusion to the ecological

Posted in Entertainment, Environment, Extras, U.S. News

Captain Joseph Hazelwood Lured Out of Retirement To Battle Oil Spill

 “This time it’s personal,” vows ex-skipper of Exxon Valdez NEW ORLEANS – Joseph Hazelwood, who was captain of the Exxon Valdez at the time it struck a reef and dumped eleven million gallons of oil into Prince William Sound, has

Posted in Environment

Little Mermaid Latest Victim Of Gulf Oil Spill

GALVESTON – Ariel, the little mermaid who stole the hearts of millions and saved a struggling Hollywood studio over twenty years ago, washed ashore yesterday morning, the latest victim of the Gulf Coast oil spill. Ms. Ariel was pronounced dead by

Posted in Environment, Extras, Science

Plan to Sop Up Oil Slick With Robert Pattinson’s Hair “Just Crazy Enough To Work”

NEW ORLEANS – Attempts to stem the massive oil slick off the Gulf Coast have proven to be abysmal failures, so officials will revert to a “Hail Mary” pass of enlisting the hairdo of teen heartthrob and Twilight series star Robert Pattinson to

Posted in Environment, Extras

NASA Satellite Photo Shows Lone User of Electricity During Earth Hour: A Tennessee Mansion Owned By a Mr. Albert Gore

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Posted in Environment, Science, U.S. News

Al Gore’s Soul Transplanted Into His Na’vi Avatar, Ex-VP Pledges Fidelity to Ecosystem Goddess Eywa

Posted in Environment

Falcon Heene Blurts Out “Climate Change Just A Show,” Al Gore Charged With Perpetrating Hoax

FORT COLLINS, Colo. – Al Gore has been charged with a felony for perpetrating a hoax on the American people in connection with his work in publicizing the purported seriousness of climate change.  The charge was leveled after Gore made an appearance on CNN with six-year-old Falcon

Posted in Environment

California Wildfires Spreading Like . . . Very Fast

Posted in Environment

Obama Faults Bush for Bad Weather on His Vacation

WASHINGTON – President Obama said the bad weather in the final days of his family’s vacation on Martha’s Vineyard was caused by the Bush administration. “We did our best to have a relaxing family vacation, despite the mess we inherited,” said the President.  Obama said

Posted in Environment

Local Man Insists His Lawn Should be LEED Certified

“Don’t tell me about green! You won’t find a greener yard in all of Blawnox!” says Samuel Blatchford

Posted in Environment, Local News
About Carbolic
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The Carbolic Book Award

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