Apr 24
What Barack Obama Wants to, But Won’t, Say at the Inauguration
10. ”Where’s Dick Cheney? Dick, stand up and take a bow!”
9. ”Well, this is one practical joke that got out of hand, isn’t it?”
8. ”If you ladies could see my shrinkage in this cold, you’d never vote for me again.”
7. ”I’ve asked President Bush to stay on for a year and be my mentor.”
6. ”Biden? I’ll call him when I need him for something — like a re-election campaign.”
5. ”Oh, sure, I’ll work with Republicans. If they bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West.”
4. ”Wait ’til you see my interns.”
3. ”God damn, America!”
2. ”And now, playing the Capitol for the first time in 38 years… Bill Ayers!”
1. ”Why so serious?”
Jan 8
Dec 17
Nov 21


Zombies Ate My Headlines won a Gold Medal at the 2009 Independent Publisher Awards as the Best Humor Book of the Year. And we didn't even have to bribe the selection committee.



