Blog Archives

Cornelius, Zeira to Host Discovery Channel’s “Christmas on the Planet of the Apes”

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Santa Claus Seriously Injured in Electric Razor Accident; Mobile Norelco was Traveling Too Fast for Conditions

NORTH POLE – Santa Claus, jolly head of an Upper-Arctic toy and novelty empire, was seriously injured yesterday when the Norelco Razor he was riding collided with a pine tree. Police said the force of the collision threw Mr. Claus

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Found: Louis Farrakhan’s Historic Lost Recording of “White Christmas”

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Little Drummer Boy Asked to “Play that Thing Outside,” Virgin Mary Claims He’s Waking the Baby

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Salvation Army Bell Ringer Mauled by Salivating Dogs, Pavlov Denies Responsibility

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Jean Claude Van-Damme to Host “A Kick-Boxing Christmas”; Special to Feature Plenty of Kicking, Boxing, Caroling

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Parson Brown Sues Couple for Identity Theft

The Parson’s complaint claims that in the meadow the defendants built a snowman and pretended it was him.

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Home Invaders Demand Figgy Pudding, Won’t Go Until They Get Some, Won’t Go Until They Get Some

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ACLU Obtains Injunction to Stop Linus From Reciting Scripture in School Auditorium

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Santa to Decide After Christmas if He’s Coming Back Next Year

At most, veteran toy giver would sign one-year deal

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Stuttering Caroler Ruins Christmas Concert, Repeats the Sounding Joy

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61 Drown at Bedford Falls High as Dance Floor Opens Over Pool

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FBI: Boy Who Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Has Been Shaking the Old Woman Down Since 1952

Mother paid son millions in hush money because he repeatedly sang, “Oh, what a laugh it would have been, if Daddy had only seen, Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night”

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“Joseph, the test results are back, and you’re not the father.”

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Trans-Siberian Orchestra Flattened by Mannheim Steamroller in Tragic Trans-Christmas Concert Accident

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Our Annual “Who’s Gay and Who’s Not in the Rankin/Bass Christmas Specials”

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Little Drummer Boy Punctuates Shepherd’s Jokes With Rimshot

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Saint Paul’s Newly Discovered Letter to Thessalonians Urges Brethren to Keep Christ Out of Christmas

THESSALONIA, Ohio – Theologians are calling Saint Paul’s third letter to the Thessalonians, lost in the mail for 2,000 years because of insufficient postage, but finally delivered and opened last night, a “bombshell” because it urges that Christ be kept

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War Hero’s Holiday Shopping Ruined By Reports of His Father’s Gangland Slaying, Fiance’s Failure to Obtain Gift Vouchers

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‘Kid’ From ‘Christmas Story’ Returns Home, Sues Father for Giving Him Genuine Red Ryder 200 Shot Carbine Action Air Rifle

He shot his eye out  

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