curiouskennedyo


Pittsburgh radio icons Jim Krenn and Randy Baumann said that and more about the brand-new Carbolic Smoke Ball book, ZOMBIES ATE MY HEADLINES, on yesterday’s WDVE Morning Show.  

Hear their raves, find out more about the book, and be among the first to order your copy at Amazon.com or right here at the Carbolic Smoke Ball. 

This Monday, the ZOMBIES rise. And walk. And make you laugh.


Salieri’s descendant says “it stinks”

PARIS - Experts in Germanic music of the late 18th Century concluded that a composition discovered in a French library was written in Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s own hand between 1787 and 1791, and that in every detail — from its melody to its harmony to its instrumentation — it is identical to “See You Again,” the hit single by American teen pop star Miley Cyrus.

Ms. Cyrus called the revelation ”sweet” and suggested she might pose for provocative photographs with a Mozart look-alike to draw attention to the news.  “You know — bare back, the whole thing.”

In New York City, Tony Salieri, a pizza delivery man for Lombardi’s in Little Italy who is a descendant of Mozart’s rival, composer Antonio Salieri, declared the composition “a piece of dreck.  Typical of Mozart.”


NEW YORK, NY - Move over, Simon Cowell.  ”American Idol” is adding another caustic critic to its panel of judges.

Crusading jurist and bon vivant Judge Rufus Peckham will sit alongside Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson when the eighth season of “American Idol” premieres in January, the Fox network said Monday.

“For the past seven seasons, Simon has had to endure the experience of being the only heartless bastard at the judges’ table,” said Mike Darnell, President of Fox Alternative Programming, in a prepared statement.  ”With Judge Peckham by his side, Simon has some backup, and now there is going to be a lot more cruelty and gleeful misanthropy on the show.  We imagine the contestants will be in tears every week.”

Judge Peckham, fake news magnate and Founder Emeritus of this web site, will come out of retirement and back from the grave to join the top-rated reality competition show.  ”They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” Peckham said through his publicist.  ”And besides, a guy with a Messiah complex as great as mine couldn’t stay dead forever.”


AMSTERDAM - A high-tech x-ray spectroscopy today revealed a previously unknown portrait of a woman by Vincent van Gogh under the dead painter’s face.

Van Gogh’s body was exhumed because of long-held suspicions that “something was under his face,” said noted Van Gogh authority Dr. Noah Swayne.  When the results of the testing were revealed at a conference of Van Gogh aficionados in Amsterdam, several experts gasped in horror. 

“We have no idea how the painting got there, but this will cause us to look at van Gogh altogether differently from now on,” said Dr. Swayne.


“That’s one black person we won’t have to worry about renouncing someday,” said Obama campaign manager David Plouffe.


  • About Carbolic

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    “The city’s equivalent of The Onion.” Ian Urbina, The New York Times

    “This stuff is better than The Onion.” Tony Norman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

    “They’re some of the world’s funniest men, and they deserve our attention.” Rick Sebak, PBS/WQED Multimedia

    Carbolic on Air

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Report airs every Friday — mornings with Jim Krenn and Randy Baumann, afternoons with Sean McDowell — on Pittsburgh’s top-rated radio station, 102.5 WDVE. Listen to the broadcasts here, and sample the archives here.


    Carbolic in Print

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Page publishes every Monday in the Trib p.m., the afternoon edition of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Read this week's copy here, and browse our archives here.


    Contact Carbolic

    thejudge@carbolicsmoke.com

    Carbolic Smoke Ball Staff

    Tim Murray, Founder/Editor-in-Chief
    Bob Haas, Editor
    Chad Hermann, Editorial Director
    • • •
    Sean Cannon, Ace Reporter
    Neal Rosenblat, Writer/Designer
    Todd Shaffer, Staff Writer
    • • •
    Timothy Stefko, Illustrator
    The Voice, Radio Correspondent
    The Mayor, Radio Personality
    • • •
    The Hon. Judge Rufus Peckham, Founder Emeritus

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