Rasputin opens barber shop; beloved “Stylist to the Czars” now offering Tonsorial Services for Serfs

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA - Grigory Rasputin, bon vivant and holy man-about-town, celebrated the grand opening of his new barber shop yesterday by distributing free balloons and haircuts to the first fifty serfs through the door. The shop is conveniently located at the corner of Ivan the Terrible Boulevard and Peter the Great Place.

“Let me tell you, I’m tired,” said Mr. Rasputin, fixing his hypnotic gaze on this reporter as he prepared to close after a long day of trimming, cutting, shaping and styling. “I haven’t worked this hard since last year’s Romanov family picnic.” Mr. Rasputin, who enjoys extraordinary influence with the Tsarina and her family, said the opening of his own barber shop for Russian peasants was the fulfillment of a life-long dream.

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