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NEW YORK – Nike has released an ad some are calling ”disturbing” featuring a close-up of disgraced golfer Tiger Woods with the shocking, pre-recorded voice-over of the Three Stooges’ Moe Howard scolding him. Mr. Howard passed away in 1975.
The unmistakable impression is that Mr. Howard is chiding Woods for his notorious sex scandal.
Mr. Howard is heard to say: “I ought to murder you, you numb-skull. Remind me to kill you later. When I get outa this, I’m gonna tear you limb from limb!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a contentious 5-4 decision authored by Justice Antonin Scalia, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled yesterday that corporations may lend financial support to the Supreme Court.
The decision follows closely on the court’s holding last month that corporations may contribute to political candidates.
Democratic lawmakers condemned the ruling, saying it will invite special interests to sway the court’s decisions. Justice Scalia answered critics by donning a jacket during oral argument covered with ads paid for by corporations.
“We’re slashing prices the way I’d like to slash the throat of Salmon Rushdie.”
“Everywhere I look, there’s that jerk,” said Conan O’Brien.
“No one in the world is more closely associated with underwear than Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Despite the Christmas terrorist incident, we’re standing behind him no matter what — unless, of course, he cheats on a woman.” NOAH SWAYNE, CEO, Fruit of the Loom
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Zombies Ate My Headlines won a Gold Medal at the 2009 Independent Publisher Awards as the Best Humor Book of the Year. And we didn't even have to bribe the selection committee.

