Monthly Archives: December 2011

Hugo Chávez, Tapped to Play Curly in Farrelly Brothers’ ‘Three Stooges,’ Calls Moe an ‘Imperialist Swine’

Posted in Extras

Joe Paterno: Incapable of Doing Wrong

Commentary by the Hon. Rufus Peckham, Editor of Carbolic Smoke Ball – Joseph Vincent Paterno, the iconic face of Penn State football for five decades who has done more good for this world than any carbon-based lifeform since St. Paul, has fallen victim to a good old fashioned PC

Posted in Extras

Man Threatens to Jump From Ledge

VATICAN CITY – A man brought a section of Rome to a halt Sunday when he threatened to jump off a ledge in the Vatican. Police are not identifying the man, but witnesses say he wore a white skullcap, ornate

Posted in Extras

Cornelius, Zeira to Host Discovery Channel’s “Christmas on the Planet of the Apes”

Tagged with:
Posted in Christmas

Santa Claus Seriously Injured in Electric Razor Accident; Mobile Norelco was Traveling Too Fast for Conditions

NORTH POLE – Santa Claus, jolly head of an Upper-Arctic toy and novelty empire, was seriously injured yesterday when the Norelco Razor he was riding collided with a pine tree. Police said the force of the collision threw Mr. Claus

Tagged with: ,
Posted in Christmas

Found: Louis Farrakhan’s Historic Lost Recording of “White Christmas”

Tagged with: ,
Posted in Christmas

Alvin Found Dead in London Hotel Room, Chipmunks Cancel Remainder of European Tour

LONDON – Alvin, the so-called “cute” Chipmunk, was found dead in his London hotel room this morning following a night of debauchery with his German girlfriend. According to toxicology reports released by Alvin’s personal veterinarian, the singing rodent died in

Tagged with: ,
Posted in Entertainment

Little Drummer Boy Asked to “Play that Thing Outside,” Virgin Mary Claims He’s Waking the Baby

Tagged with:
Posted in Christmas

Salvation Army Bell Ringer Mauled by Salivating Dogs, Pavlov Denies Responsibility

Tagged with:
Posted in Christmas

Jean Claude Van-Damme to Host “A Kick-Boxing Christmas”; Special to Feature Plenty of Kicking, Boxing, Caroling

Tagged with: ,
Posted in Christmas

Parson Brown Sues Couple for Identity Theft

The Parson’s complaint claims that in the meadow the defendants built a snowman and pretended it was him.

Tagged with: , ,
Posted in Christmas

Home Invaders Demand Figgy Pudding, Won’t Go Until They Get Some, Won’t Go Until They Get Some

Posted in Christmas

Santa to Decide After Christmas if He’s Coming Back Next Year

At most, veteran toy giver would sign one-year deal

Posted in Christmas

ACLU Obtains Injunction to Stop Linus From Reciting Scripture in School Auditorium

Posted in Christmas

Stuttering Caroler Ruins Christmas Concert, Repeats the Sounding Joy

Tagged with: , ,
Posted in Christmas

61 Drown at Bedford Falls High as Dance Floor Opens Over Pool

Tagged with:
Posted in Christmas

FBI: Boy Who Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Has Been Shaking the Old Woman Down Since 1952

Mother paid son millions in hush money because he repeatedly sang, “Oh, what a laugh it would have been, if Daddy had only seen, Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night”

Tagged with:
Posted in Christmas

“Joseph, the test results are back, and you’re not the father.”

Posted in Christmas

Gingrich Plan to Make English America’s Official Language Would Outlaw ‘Adeste Fideles’ and ‘Auld Lang Syne’

Posted in Extras

Penn State’s McQueary Testifies: “I Saw Pedophile Snowman With Kids and a Broomstick Running Here and There All Around the Square Saying, ‘Catch Me If You Can!'”

Posted in Extras
About Carbolic
“One of America’s great web sites.” Brian O'Neill, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“The city’s equivalent of The Onion.” Ian Urbina, The New York Times

“Carbolic Smoke Ball's rise to greatness is a tale as old as time -- which, according to Sarah Palin, is only about 6,000 years.” Randy Baumann, WDVE-102.5, Pittsburgh

“This stuff is better than The Onion.” Tony Norman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“They’re some of the world’s funniest men, and they deserve our attention.” Rick Sebak, PBS/WQED Multimedia

“One of Pittsburgh's most popular blogs, and it's gaining a growing national audience.”
Pittsburgh Magazine

“Nothing is sacred for the guys who run Carbolic Smoke Ball. Nothing.” Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

How Carbolic started an urban legend. Snopes.com

The Carbolic Book Award

Zombies Ate My Headlines won a Gold Medal at the 2009 Independent Publisher Awards as the Best Humor Book of the Year. And we didn't even have to bribe the selection committee.
Carbolic Wear