Existentialist Recalls Exactly Where He Was When He Heard About 9/11 Terrorist Attack, But Wonders ‘Why Was I There?’

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Sep 9

Violence Spreads as Jerry’s Kids Turn Up Heat To Protest Lewis’ Ouster From MDA

london-riots-2LAS VEGAS – On the bloodiest day of the week-long surge that has caused more than 750 deaths and billions of dollars in damage in this world famous desert resort, Jerry’s Kids continued to hammer hotels along the iconic Las Vegas Strip with mortar attacks in protest of Muscular Dystrophy Association’s firing of madcap comedian Jerry Lewis as its chairman and telethon host.

At dawn Thursday, bursts of gunfire were heard from behind the faux Eiffel Tower at Paris, and snipers hid behind statues in front of Caesar’s Palace picking off police and UN peacekeeping soldiers. It is estimated that 30-40 percent of the city is now held by Jerry’s Kids.

The beloved comic at the center of the dispute continues to insist he does not condone the violence by his loyalists. “People both love and hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius,” Lewis told a reporter.

Sep 1