Shocker: In ’2001: A Space Odyssey,’ Rosie the Robot Maid Originally Slated for HAL’s Role

rosieHOLLYWOOD - Recently discovered letters between director Stanley Kubrick and writer Arthur C. Clarke reveal that Rosie the Robot Maid, the delightful humanoid robot fictional character in the sci-fi comedy classic The Jetsons, was Kubrick’s first choice to play the role that eventually went to HAL 9000.

The day Kubrick casted Rosie, he gushed to Clarke: ”In her I see more courage and wit and heart than ever came together in one gal.”

But Rosie didn’t last a week into shooting. She refused to come out of her trailer after claiming that the words of the song she was supposed to sing during her character’s breakdown — “Daisy, Daisy/Give me your answer do/I’m half crazy/all for the love of you” — was not written in her “voice.”  Kubrick fired her on the spot.

Kubrick’s second choice, the robot from Lost in Space, was then tied up in a controversial palimony suit with Will Robinson, and Arthur C. Clarke thought it would be “bad for business” to give him the role.  The HAL 9000 was Kubrick’s third choice.

May 28

Ashton Kutcher to Replace Bin Laden

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May 13

NFL Tries to Pinpoint Which Number One Draft Choice Broke Goodell’s Ribs During Traditional First Round Hug

GoodellNEW YORK – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was released from the hospital Saturday after suffering several broken ribs last week during the first round of the NFL draft.

It is not clear when the injuries occurred. After each announcement of the thirty-two number one draft choices, each athlete appeared and provided the Commissioner with a traditional hug. Goodell was hugged by several 300-plus pound number one draft choices, and any of them might have broken the ribs.

Sound technicians are reviewing audio of the first round to identify the moment the ribs cracked.

Fines of up to $50,000 may be levied against the culprit under the NFL’s “Don’t hurt the Commissioner” policy. It would mark the first time in NFL history that a player has been fined for an act before beginning to play with his team.

May 7

Celebrations Of Wicked Witch’s Death Decried as Unseemly

OZ2-1MUNCHKIN CITY - Commentators criticized as ”ugly” and “unseemly” the spontaneous celebrations that erupted across the County of Oz in the wake of the death of the Wicked Witch of the East.

The Witch was killed when a farmhouse fell on top of her. It is widely believed that the attack was carried out by U.S. special elite forces. 

Immediately, residents of Munchkin City took to the streets and broke out into an elaborate song and dance number, a display that an Oz Times editorial decried as “the worst kind of jingoistic hubris.”

Controversial film-maker Michael Moore said the Munchkins were wrong to celebrate what he regards as an “execution.” Moore said the witch should have been captured and tried in accordance with International law.

May 6

White House Releases Photo: Michelle Obama Performing Striptease for National Security Team

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May 3

Chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A.” Rang Out From Philadelphia Phillies Crowd

Crowd Erupted When Scoreboard Announced that American Navy SEALs Had Killed the Easter Bunny

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May 2

CIA Trying to Learn What Bin Laden’s Dying Word Meant

osama_bin_laden_dead0001_661“Rosebud.”

May 2

AP Apologizes: The Photo It Released Was Not Bin Laden Being Shot, It Was Moe Greene

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May 2

Bin Laden Given Formal Burial at Sea

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May 2

Obama: ‘Today, I Settled All Family Business. Bin Laden is Dead. So is Barzina, Tattaglia, Moe Greene. All the Heads of the Five Families . . . .’

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May 2

Obama Personally Tested Bin Laden’s DNA

Obama exma“It’s a definite match.”

May 2