Monthly Archives: February 2011

Local Man Blasts Sports Illustrated’s Annual Bikini Smutfest

TO THE EDITOR, SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: As the father of two red-blooded, heterosexual, all-American teenage boys ages 16 and 17, I have long believed that your magazine fills the gaping hole left in our cultural milieu in those years when the

Posted in Extras

‘Gilligan’s Island’ Creator Summoned to Congresswoman Giffords’ Bedside to Reverse Her Memory Loss

HOLLYWOOD – Venerable television producer Sherwood Schwartz has been called to Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords’ bedside to cure her memory loss. “Since it was a blow to the head that caused her to lose her memory,” Schwartz explained to a reporter, “another blow to

Posted in Extras

Mubarak Added to Cast of ‘Two and a Half Men'; Show Becomes ‘Three and a Half Men’

HOLLYWOOD – Ousted Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak has inked a two-year deal to co-star in the troubled CBS sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” and the show’s title will be changed to “Three and a Half Men.” Executive producer Chuck Lorre says Mubarak

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Winged Youth Sought in Bow and Arrow Attacks

PITTSBURGH – Police say that a lively, partially clothed, winged youth known only as “Cupid” is a person of interest in a series of bow and arrow attacks throughout the tri-state area. The suspect’s modus operandi is to fire tiny,

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Posted in Local News

New Roethlisberger Scandal Brewing: Big Ben Spotted Speaking With Female Cashier

DALLAS – Ben Roethlisberger, twice accused of sexual assault in the past, created a Super Bowl-sized stir today when he was spotted at Neiman Marcus on Main Street speaking with an unnamed female cashier who was waiting on him. “I distinctly heard

Posted in Extras

Pittsburgh Bishop Vows His ‘Goons Will Break the Legs’ of Green Bay Bishop If He Welshes on Super Bowl Bet

PITTSBURGH – Pittsburgh Bishop David Zubik said his “goons will break the legs” of Green Bay’s Bishop David Ricken if Ricken welshes on the Super Bowl bet he made with Zubik. The two church leaders bet that the bishop of the losing city

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Yul Brynner Arrives in Cairo, Says He’s Prepared to Run Egypt Again

Posted in Extras

Super Bowl Visitors Urged to Stay Clear of Dallas Crime Spots, Especially Outside the Sixth Floor Window of the School Book Depository

DALLAS – Local police are urging the tens of thousands of visitors expected to arrive here for the Super Bowl to avoid dangerous places. Topping the list of places to avoid is the vicinity of the Texas School Book Depository

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About Carbolic
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How Carbolic started an urban legend.

The Carbolic Book Award

Zombies Ate My Headlines won a Gold Medal at the 2009 Independent Publisher Awards as the Best Humor Book of the Year. And we didn't even have to bribe the selection committee.
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