Monthly Archives: August 2010

Obama Speech: ‘But Enough About Iraq. Get a Shot Of This Cool New Rug in The Oval Office’

Posted in Extras

Biden Arrives In New Orleans on Anniversary of Katrina

“I have to be honest, I don’t see any hurricane here.”

Posted in Extras

New York Times Gives Glenn Beck Rally Fair Coverage

“Apparently there was a gathering of some type on the Mall in Washington.  If The Times obtains any additional information, we’ll pass it on.”

Posted in Extras

Obama Says Goodbye To Martha’s Vineyard, Captain Quint Tells Him To Stay The Course

Posted in Health, Politics, U.S. News

Flashback August 30, 2005: Bush Consoles New Orleans: ‘I Will Get The Man Who Did This’

President Asks Rock ‘N Roll Legend Fats Domino To Be ‘Human Cork’ To Plug Leak In Levee NEW ORLEANS – Hurricane Katrina wrought unprecedented devastation to the U.S. Gulf Coast yesterday, and President Bush arrived to console the jittery Big Easy

Posted in Extras

‘Last Exorcism’ Actress Contorts Body In Ways No One Can Ever Recall Seeing A Young Woman Do

Not-safe-for-work picture after the jump.

Posted in Extras

Protestors Seek To Block Proposed Shriners Hall At Ground Zero ‘Because of the Fezzes’

Posted in Extras

Mrs. Sharia Law Files Name Change Petition

PITTSBURGH – Mrs. Sharia Law of Blawnox, Pennsylvania, said she has filed a petition in the Court of Common Pleas to change her name to “Sherry Law.” She filed the petition because “I’m tired of people confusing me with that

Posted in Extras

Details Leaked About Steve Carell’s Exit From ‘The Office’

HOLLYWOOD – Details about Steve Carell’s final episode as Michael Scott, the fictional regional office manager of a struggling paper company in the hit sitcom The Office, have hit normally laid-back Tinseltown like a bombshell.  According to the script, hours after Michael

Posted in Extras

Last U.S. Combat Troops Exit Iraq

White House staff desperately searches for “Mission Accomplished” banner

Posted in Extras

Quasimodo ‘Honored’ To Ring Opening Bell At NY Stock Exchange

NEW YORK – For more than fifty years, a cavalcade of celebrities have flooded the balcony above the floor of the New York Stock Exchange to press the buzzer that rings the bell to start the trading at 9:30 every

Posted in Extras

Obama Clarifies: “I Didn’t Say Ground Zero ‘Mosque’ Was OK, I Said Ground Zero ‘Musk'”

WASHINGTON – President Obama says reports that he supports Muslims’ right to build a mosque near Ground Zero in lower Manhattan are incorrect.  “I didn’t say it was alright to have a Mosque at Ground Zero,” said the president. “I said it

Posted in Extras

Judge in Blagojevich Case Misunderstands Jury Foreman

The Judge thought the foreman said “deadlock” but, in fact, the foreman was describing his hairstyle.

Posted in Extras

Furious Warren Buffett Rips Rich Uncle Pennybags: ‘Charities Don’t Want Your Fake Money’

ATLANTIC CITY – Berkshire Hathaway Inc. Chairman Warren Buffett has asked fellow billionaires to pledge the majority of their wealth to charity, but he angrily told one billionaire “don’t bother.” Buffett publicly scolded rich Uncle Pennybags, the dapper, mustached mascot of a popular

Posted in Business, Extras, Life, U.S. News

Obama’s Bid To Boost Popularity Called Desperation Move

President boards JetBlue plane and launches into obscenity-laced tirade over intercom; then he grabs two beers and slides down inflatable emergency chute.

Posted in Extras

‘Bridge To Nowhere’ Gets ‘Ramp To Nonexistent Place’ in Sen. Ted Stevens’ Honor

Posted in Extras

Enola Gay Flyover Mars Hiroshima Peace Memorial Ceremony

TOKYO – The Hiroshima Peace Memorial Ceremony in Hiroshima City, marking the 65th anniversary of the dropping of the nuclear bomb that devastated that Japanese city, was marred by the flyover of the Enola Gay, the B-29 bomber that dropped the bomb. It was learned

Posted in Extras

Iconic Photo Revealed To Be Nixon Farewell Prank

WASHINGTON – Thirty-six years ago today, Richard M. Nixon resigned the presidency in disgrace as he faced almost certain impeachment for his involvement in the cover-up of the Watergate break-in.  As he boarded an Air Force helicopter that would transport him

Posted in History

Passengers Soon Will Be Able To Go To Destinations Other Than Hell In A Handbasket

WASHINGTON – Travelers soon will be able to say they are going to Pittsburgh in a handbasket. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood announced yesterday that starting on Labor Day, passengers riding in handbaskets will be able to head to destinations other than hell.

Posted in Extras

Theologians Say Miracle Heralds Hillary Presidency: Face of Eleanor Roosevelt Appears in Semen Stain of Monica Lewinsky’s Dress

Posted in Extras
About Carbolic
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How Carbolic started an urban legend.

The Carbolic Book Award

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