Scientific Panel: BP Spill Conclusively Proves Oil and Water Don’t Mix

oilwater1WASHINGTON – A month after British Petroleum’s underwater oil well began spewing thousands of gallons of crude oil in the Gulf of Mexico, the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) has determined that oil and water cannot be combined “chemically or by any other means.”  

 “There were some holdout scientists who believed, erroneously as it turned out, that oil and water could be mixed,” explained Noah Swayne, Head Scientist at the NAS,  “but in the end they couldn’t ignore the evidence – this thing that’s happened in the gulf.” 

The NAS was created by President Lincoln in 1863 as an honorific society of scholars engaged in scientific research and dedicated to the use of science and technology for the general welfare.

When asked if the NAS had any thoughts on how to deal with the environmental catastrophe caused by the oil leak, Swayne shrugged and said, “We don’t have a clue.  That’s the billion dollar question, isn’t it?”  He promised that the NAS would turn its attention to the leak in the gulf as soon as they finish their research on which came first – the chicken or the egg.

May 25