Obama Nominates Mother-In-Law To Fill Supreme Court Vacancy

obama_robinson240WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Obama announced at a White House Rose Garden ceremony yesterday that he is nominating his mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, to fill the opening on the Supreme Court created by the retirement of Justice John Paul Stevens.

“My mother-in-law has just the kind of real-life experience that I believe is essential for the job,” said Mr. Obama. “And what’s more, it will get her out of the White House every day and off my back for awhile.”

Mr. Obama’s mother-in-law moved in to the White House following his inauguration last January. According to one source who spoke on condition of anonymity, Mrs. Robinson spends most of her time in the Lincoln bedroom watching soap operas and cutting coupons.

“She does like to see the President every morning to inform him of her various aches and pains, and update him on the status of her old friends in Chicago, a ritual that always ends with her bursting into tears and Mr. Obama dispensing Kleenex and gesturing for aides to escort her from the Oval Office.” 

Mr. Obama said he and his wife Michelle had already taken his mother-in-law to visit the Supreme Court as a way of getting her acclimated.

“We told her she would have her own room, and her own television, and that she would meet lots of new people and make new friends. Sonia (Sotormayor) took her down to the community room. Clarence (Thomas) and Antonin (Scalia) were doing a jigsaw puzzle. When she saw that, she said ‘send my nomination to the Hill!’”

Mr. Obama said that if his mother-in-law’s nomination failed to win approval from the Senate Judiciary Committee, he would resort to Plan B: Ambassador to Iceland.

“Look, I need a break. The woman’s with us 24/7! “

Apr 20