Roethlisberger Celebrates Exoneration By Hiring Duke Lacrosse Stripper For Private Show

Big-BenPITTSBURGH – Minutes after it was announced Ben Roethlisberger won’t be charged with sexual assault in connection with a March 5 accusation by a 20-year-old college student, Mr. Roethlisberger declared that he has “learned a lot from my ordeal,” and said that he would celebrate by retaining Duke lacrosse stripper Crystal Gail Mangum for “a private show.” 

Ms. Mangum, who gained national notoriety by falsely accusing three Duke University lacrosse players of rape, was flown to Pittsburgh where she met Mr. Roethlisberger at a secret location.  There, she reportedly entertained him, without any witnesses, for one-half hour. 

Mr. Roethlisberger admitted that “there was plenty of groping, and I made sure my DNA got all over her.”  Midway through the show, Ms. Mangum reportedly stormed out ”because of something Roethlisberger said.”  

Mr. Roethlisberger said he “trusts totally in Ms. Mangum’s goodwill that she won’t falsely accuse me of rape.”  He added that, because he is a young, famous, wealthy athlete, he will continue to “have a good time with the ladies.”

Posted in Gender News, Sports
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