Local Man: “The Only Time I Feel Alive Is When I’m Wearing My Collar Bomb”

Collar BombLocal bon vivant Noah Swayne revealed that he “doesn’t feel alive” unless his triple-banded metal collar bomb is securely locked around his neck.

“First thing I do when I get home from work is slap on the collar [bomb],” said Swayne. “I know the neighbors must think it’s strange seeing me cutting the grass wearing the collar, but I’m one of those guys who’s always lived a sort of high octane life.”

Swayne insists on setting the timer to detonate the bomb while he’s wearing the collar. “Only one time did I come close to having it go off — when I accidentally fell asleep,” he chuckles. “I disarmed it with seven seconds to spare.”

Swayne confides that he sometimes wears the collar to bed. “Many a night my wife assumes the bomb went off,” he winks. “Every couple should add one of these to their lovemaking regimen.”

Mar 19