Tiger Accidentally Read Joseph Stack’s Suicide Rant Instead of Sex Scandal Apology

Tiger-Woods-001NEW YORK – In what public relations experts are calling “the mix up of all mix ups,” on Friday as he stood before a packed, hand-selected audience, Tiger Woods accidentally read Joseph Stack’s suicide rant instead of the apology he had prepared to help put his sex scandal behind him. 

Stack’s suicide manifesto was discovered after he crashed his single-engine Piper Cherokee airplane into an IRS building in Austin, Texas last week.

“We figured something was off when Tiger launched into a rambling tirade trashing the IRS, GM executives, the Catholic Church, the late Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, and George W. Bush,” said communication consultant Chad Hermann. “I immediately knew he was reading either Stack’s suicide rant or the keynote address from the last Democratic National Convention.”

Woods’ publicist, Bob Haas, explained that somehow Woods “grabbed the wrong speech” on his way out of his house.  “But nevertheless, I thought it was very effective.”

Feb 22