pearl-harbor-attack-1WASHINGTON – United States Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano said that “the system worked” on December 7, 1941 when the Japanese military attacked the American naval fleet at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

“The Pearl Harbor attack couldn’t have gone any better,” she gushed on CNN. “The way that our men who survived the attack scrambled to avoid being killed, the fact that California wasn’t also attacked, our clean-up effort to dispose of the bodies — you name it, it was just a rip-roaring success all around.”