PESHAWAR - Osama Bin Laden, feared leader of the world’s most nefarious terror organization, awoke yesterday to find the aluminum siding on his cave splattered with eggs.
“Every devil’s night it’s the same thing,” he complained. ”Wait until I get my hands on those punks.”
Mr. Bin Laden said he ”had a pretty good idea” about the identity of the culprits. “It’s got to be Mullah Omar’s kids. They’re left home by themselves a lot while Mullah’s out fomenting jihad. And Mrs. Mullah is one of those parents who finds fault with everyone’s kids except her own. The litte brats,” he muttered.
A closer inspection of the cave revealed additional vandalism. Toilet paper was strewn across the white picket fence that surrounds the dwelling, and someone spray-painted “Osama Is A Fink” across the decorative boulder that rests in the front yard.
“This is the kind of behavior you’d expect from Western teenage infidels. To think we’re raising kids that have no respect for the personal property of others is downright disgusting.”
Mr. Bin Laden vowed to avenge the defilement of his home. He said details of the punishment he intends to mete out to the hoodlums in his neighborhood would be released on a videotape to the al-Jazeera network some time next week.