God: “I Had Nothing To Do With Touchdown”

god2HEAVEN - God, the Alpha and the Omega, creator of the heavens and Earth who has on occasion played an important role in the outcome of professional athletic contests across America, said he had nothing to do with the touchdown pass caught by Dallas Cowboys receiver Miles Austin in the Cowboys’ 37-21 victory over the Falcons.

“I’d like to take credit for the catch, especially since Miles was so quick to give Me all the credit in his post-game remarks, but I didn’t see it.”

God said he regretted missing the play. “From what I’ve been told, Miles did a great job of getting open, and I guess Tony (Romo) made a heckuva throw.” He then chuckled. “Can I say ‘heckuva’?” he quipped.

The Lord of All explained that prior commitments kept him from His usual Sunday afternoon leisure time.

“I was tied up with the suicide bombs in Iraq, whipping up a late season tropical cyclone in the Pacific, and following the progress of the swine flu pandemic, so I didn’t have time to get involved.”

God added that he hoped to play a part in last night’s American League Championship series between the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Angels, but a last-minute bulletin he received limited his role. “Apparently, there’s a fellow in Des Moines who has been taking My name in vain all day, so I might have to smite him.” God sighed. “It just never ends.”

Oct 26