Heir to Camelot Anointed on Anniversary of Chappaquiddick

car_mechanicBOSTON – Just as a lad named Arthur proved himself to be the one true King by extracting Excalibur from a stubborn mythical stone, this morning John “Jack” Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg, 16, son of Caroline Kennedy, proved himself to be heir to the throne of the latter day Camelot by successfully starting Kennedy patriarch Ted’s ’67 Olds Delta 88 for the first time since its owner accidentally drove it off a bridge into Poucha Pond at Chappaquiddick Island, 40 years to the day. 

Legend has it that “Who So Starteth Up The Car is Rightwise Heir to Camelot,” and it has become a right of passage for every young Kennedy to take a stab at repairing the water-damaged vehicle.  When Jack turned the key and the engine hummed for the first time since that fateful night in July 1969, the timing was not lost on the stunned Kennedy clan.  They quickly surrounded young Jack and kneeled before him.

“Ted was ecstatic, of course,” said long-time family advisor Ted Sorenson.  “He hopped behind the wheel and yelled out, ‘Who wants to go for a spin with me?’  Oddly, he had no takers.”

Jul 18