Sotomayor Spontaneously Combusts, Firefighter Frank Ricci Suggests Letting Fire Burn Itself Out

Fire1WASHINGTON – Wise but fiery Latina Judge Sonia Sotomayor spontaneously combusted at her Senate confirmation hearing yesterday while listening to the testimony of white firefighter Frank Ricci, one of the men she ruled against in a celebrated reverse discriminaton case.  

“I could see her getting flush while Ricci was speaking,” said Sen. Arlen Specter, R D-Pa.  “But I had no idea she was about to blow.”

Flames suddenly shot out from Sotomayor’s hair, fingers and feet, and pandemonium erupted in the smoke-filled hearing chamber.  “Is there a firefighter in the house?”  yelled Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vermont.  Mr. Ricci casually looked down at his notes, ignoring the inferno.  Ricci later told reporters he believed the best tactic to control the blaze was isolation.  “It needed to burn itself out,” he said.

Republican Senators vowed a quick vote on the confirmation of Sotomayor’s charred remains.

Jul 17