Palin Resigns to Spend More Time With Grandchildren Fathered By A-Rod

sarah-palin-2-080308WASILLA, Alaska – Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin announced she is resigning from office at the end of the month in order to spend more time with her yet-to-be-born grandchildren fathered by Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. 

Palin read the bombshell announcement from her Wasilla home:  “Earlier this year, one of my daughters — I will not say which one — was knocked up by Mr. Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees while she and I attended a baseball game at Yankee Stadium.  Their union became a national cause célèbre when television comedian David Letterman made a tasteless, and for my money, worse – unfunny, joke about it, which caused much pain to my family. 

“In fact, my daughter’s union with Mr. Rodriguez was a beautiful thing.  Incidentally, my daughter assures me that Mr. Rodriguez should be called  ’A plus rod,’ if you get my meaning.  While I can’t personally vouch for the latter assertion since I’ve never seen Mr. Rodriguez’s tallywacker, I have never doubted my daughter when it comes to men.”

Jul 6