North Korea Set to Fire Missile on Hawaiian Set of ABC Series “Lost”

launchHONOLULU  –  The US military in Hawaii has been placed on “high alert” and has ordered the island’s antimissile defenses beefed-up in response to intelligence reports that North Korea ”likely” will fire long-range ballistic missiles toward the set of the ABC hit series “Lost,” which films on the island of Oahu.

The North Korean government under Kim Jong-il reportedly is “gravely unhappy” about the confusing plot lines of the popular fantasy-adventure series and has sent several threatening notes to the show’s producers demanding more cohesive plots. 

Among other things, Jong-il demanded ”an end to all the time travel and quantum physics nonsense.”   Insiders say that since Jong-il’s demands have been ignored, he is intent on ”upping the ante” to achieve the desired changes.

The show’s producers say they are not concerned about the planned missile launch because two of the show’s characters, Benjamin Linus and John Locke, plan to move the island out of North Korea’s missile range capability. 

“I’m not worried because Ben once moved the island thousands of miles,” explained executive producer J.J. Abrams.  “Well, in actuality, he didn’t really move the island. He changed its space-time connection to the rest of the Earth.  And that’s what I’m going to have him and John do this time, too.”

Jun 22