Biden Leaks Location of VP Bunker

batmanabcWASHINGTON – Vice President Joe Biden leaked the classified location of the secret hideaway his predecessor, Dick Cheney, used in the days following the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

Biden told dinner guests at the Gridiron Club dinner that in the Vice President’s study in the Naval Observatory, the official vice presidential residence in Washington, there is a bust of Shakespeare, and when the head is pulled back, a secret button is revealed 

“See, you push that button, and the bookcase on the wall opens up to reveal poles leading down to a subterranean cave.”

Biden claims he pushed the button and the bookcase opened.  “All of a sudden, a very clean, nice-looking Caucasian boy ran into the room, and he and I slid down the poles,” Biden explained. 

“On the way down the poles, I flicked a lever that said ‘instant costume change lever,’ and all of a sudden, the boy — who said he was 18 – and I are naked.”  Biden giggled.  “And the next thing I knew, we were wearing colorful crime-fighter costumes.”

Biden said that he and the boy landed on the floor of the cave and then hopped into a Lincoln Futura powered by nuclear energy and outfitted in a bat motif.  They roared out of the cave and proceeded to the secret lair of an arch-criminal dressed in a green costume covered with question marks.  Biden and the boy engaged the arch-criminal and his henchmen in a colorful fistfight before arresting them.

President Obama, asked to comment on Biden’s story, said, “It’s just Joe being Joe.”

May 19