Woman’s Story Shocks Listeners: One Thing Led To “The Same Thing” Not “Another”

pattyNEW YORK – Rosacea Swayne’s neighbors say they are “completely dumbfounded” over the story that Ms. Swayne told them this morning while they were standing drinking coffee on both sides of the fence between Ms. Swayne’s yard and Miser Haas’.

According to one witness, Ms. Swayne “told a story where we assumed that one thing led to another, but, in fact, the one thing led to the same thing.”

“Let’s be blunt: her narrative violated every single canon of good storytelling,” said another neighbor, Bettys Roadhouse, who asked not to be identified.  “When the ‘one thing’ didn’t lead to ‘another,’ there was no forward progression.  And by having the ‘one thing’ lead to ‘the same thing,’ well, we all sort of felt cheated by the sheer circularity of the thing.”

This is not the first time that one of Ms. Swayne’s stories has landed her in hot water.  Last year, she alarmed members of the Rotary Club by noting that a point she made was “neither here nor there — but it most assuredly is somewhere.”  Several older Rotarians are still flabbergasted over a story she told in the 1980s that she ended by noting, “I’ll leave it at that, and not even.”

May 14