Jolie, Madonna Make Blockbuster Trade; Celebrities Exchange Children for Future Considerations, Adoptees To Be Named Later

angelina-2_0_0_0x0_290x438HOLLYWOOD – Angelina Jolie sent two of her adopted children to Madonna yesterday in a blockbuster deal that was consummated only hours before the trading deadline. 

This is the first time a Hollywood celebrity has traded an adopted child since actress Joan Crawford shipped her daughter Christina to the Manson family in 1967 for two bottles of scotch and a carton of cigarettes.  

The children, Maddox Jolie and Pax Jolie, were informed of the trade by housekeeping personnel.

“I’ve got a lot of great memories of this place,” said Pax. “I’ve got a lot of great friends. I wish them all the best, but I’m looking forward to starting fresh with my new superstar mother.” Maddox declined comment. 

Madonna’s three year old adopted son David took the news hard.

“I always hoped I’d be able to finish my career here, or at least get through puberty. I don’t like it, but what am I going to do? Go back to Malawi?”

A spokesman for Madonna said the pop priestess considered sending him down to Malawi, but he was out of options.

“We had to trade him, or keep him until he was eighteen. By then, he would have lost all publicity value.”

Brad Pitt, speaking for Ms. Jolie, said he was excited about the addition of David to their club.

“He gives us a new dimension we didn’t have before. We were getting bored with Cambodians. But a kid from Southeast Africa is just the thing we need to shake things up around here.”

Apr 2