Obama Meets With Mary Worth to Discuss Ways to Revive Economy

mary_worth_my_humpsWASHINGTON - Faced with mounting opposition from Republican leaders in Congress to his proposed stimulus package and a dire economic prognosis from his top advisors, President Obama met today with the one American capable of providing an effective, sensible solution: Mary Worth.

“I know Mary’s been busy lately, helping to persuade an old friend to change his overbearing behavior in his daughter’s life and to see the error of his ways, but when I called, she came,” the President said.

Ms. Worth and Mr. Obama met over coffee and cake in the Oval Office. “You know, this must be the nine millionth time I’ve sat down with someone and dispensed my homespun wisdom and folksy bromides over coffee and cake to help solve a problem, but this visit may be my most satisfying,” said Ms. Worth. “If the President heeds my advice, we’ll be out of this mess in two to three panels, er, days.”

Ms. Worth refused to divulge the contents of her meeting with Mr. Obama.

“You’ll be able to read all about it in the papers over the course of the next nine weeks.”

Ms. Worth is scheduled to meet with the Secretary of State tomorrow about a possible trip to Israel to assist in negotiating an end to the violence in Gaza.

Jan 26