Obama’s Mother-in-Law Takes Air Force One to Chicago for Tuesday Night Bingo

obamas-mother-in-lawWASHINGTON – Only hours after taking the oath of office, President Barack Obama was forced to deal with the first scandal of his administration when his mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, ordered Air Force One to take her home to Chicago so she could attend her regular Tuesday night bingo game.

“I don’t know how this could have happened,” said an irritated President Obama. “I thought she was watching a ‘Murder, She Wrote’ marathon on the Hallmark Channel with the Vice President over at his place. This is gonna be a long four years.”

According to White House phone logs, Mrs. Robinson began calling Air Force One personnel shortly after the inauguration ceremony concluded.

“She was pretty demanding,” said one man, who insisted on anonymity. “She was really throwing her son-in-law’s name around, if you know what I mean.”

The plane took off  around three o”clock, landing at Midway Airport after a fifty-minute flight, but not before buzzing the homes of Mrs. Robinson’s friends in her old neighborhood. 

A presidential motorcade, also requested by Mrs. Robinson, escorted her to the South Side Community Center where she has played Tuesday Bingo for the past thirty-four years.

“I work my whole life, and I finally get connections,” she explained. “I’m going to use them.”

President Obama issued a statement through an aide apologizing for the unauthorized use of government property and pleaded for understanding.

“Anyone who has ever been forced to live with their mother-in-law knows what I’m going through.”

Jan 21