Police Fear Court Decision Outlawing Executions of Low IQ Inmates Will Trigger Reign of Terror by the Retarded

police-12WASHINGTON - Police across America are on high alert due to fears that the Supreme Court’s decision in State v. Murray barring executions of low IQ inmates will prompt a crime wave by the retarded if they realize they can murder without paying the ultimate penalty.

Hoboken State University law professor Noah Swayne explained there is ample precedent supporting the decision not to subject persons to the death penalty who cannot comprehend that they are to be executed.  “The legal rationale is that half the fun of the death penalty is knowing the prisoner is shitting bricks waiting to be offed,” explained Swayne. ”You don’t get that with low IQ inmates.”

Police are warning Americans not to antagonize the retarded in light of the court’s decision.  “If [the retarded] realize they can murder with impunity, we will see an unprecedented crime wave from coast to coast,” explained New York City Police Commisioner Robert Haas.  “The thing we have in our favor is that they probably won’t figure it out.”

Jan 12