#10: Walt Disney Furious with Miley Cyrus Over Racy Photos; Cryogenically-Preserved Mogul Defrosted to Meet with Pop Sensation

waltORLANDO - Public outrage over racy photos of Disney channel teen sensation Miley Cyrus has forced The Walt Disney Company to schedule an emergency defrosting of founder, animation icon Walt Disney.  Once he is sufficiently thawed, Mr. Disney is scheduled to meet with Ms. Cyrus to discuss possible ways of dealing with what has become a public relations nightmare.

Dr. Michael Bucholz, Chief of Cryogenics at Disney, said Ms. Cyrus’ refusal to acknowledge the harm she has done to the company’s reputation forced the hand of Disney executives. “Perhaps three hours in a conference room with the corpse of the man responsible for her career will bring her back to her senses.”

The controversy over the photos of Ms. Cyrus, which appear in the most recent issue of Vanity Fair, threatens to cost the company millions of dollars in lost revenue if parents decide Ms. Cyrus no longer projects a suitably wholesome  image for their children.

Mr. Disney, who died in 1966, has spent the past forty-two years in a cryogenic chamber in an undisclosed location on the grounds of the Magic Kingdom.  Some visitors insist the chamber is located under water in the “It’s a Small World” attraction because when news of Ms. Cyrus’ racy photos circulated, steam was seen rising just near the happy Mexican figurines.

A spokesman for the Disney Corporation said this is only the second time Mr. Disney has been thawed out for a public appearance. In 1973, his perfectly-preserved remains attended the wedding of former Mouseketeer Annette Funicello.

Dec 31