Paul Volcker Shoots Himself in Manhattan Nightclub

NEW YORK - Only days after his appointment by President-elect Obama to chair the newly-formed Economic Recovery Advisory Board, eighty-one-year-old Paul Volcker reportedly shot himself in a Manhattan night club.

The incident occurred in a club known as The Latin Quarter, where Mr. Volcker has lately been seen partying to the wee hours of the morning with celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Sean “P-Diddy” Combs.

Mr. Volcker was taken to a local hospital for treatment. According to an Obama transition team spokesman, the bullet pierced only Mr. Volcker’s skin and muscle tissue. It is unclear whether Mr. Volcker possesses a license to carry a handgun in New York City. If he does not, he could face criminal charges.

This morning, his attorney, Benjamin Brafman, said his client was remorseful. “Paul is aware that he is a high-profile public figure, and that he carries a responsibility to behave in a way that is consistent with the standards set by the Obama transition team. He’s hoping to put this incident behind him, and move forward.”

This is not the first time the talented but troubled Mr. Volcker has found himself embroiled in controversy. Earlier this election season, Mr. Volcker was fined twenty thousand dollars for taunting Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke during Congressional hearings.

Just last week, President-elect Obama fined him an undisclosed amount and briefly suspended him after he was observed falling asleep during transition team meetings.

“This is the last straw,” said one unnamed source. “The public is sick and tired of these antics from professional economic recovery figures. I wouldn’t be surprised if Obama suspends him for the rest of the recession.”

Dec 1

  • About Carbolic

    “One of America’s great web sites.” Brian O'Neill, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

    “The city’s equivalent of The Onion.” Ian Urbina, The New York Times

    “This stuff is better than The Onion.” Tony Norman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

    “They’re some of the world’s funniest men, and they deserve our attention.” Rick Sebak, PBS/WQED Multimedia

    Carbolic on Air

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Report airs every Friday — mornings with Jim Krenn and Randy Baumann, afternoons with Sean McDowell — on Pittsburgh’s top-rated radio station, 102.5 WDVE. Listen to the broadcasts here, and sample the archives here.


    Carbolic in Print

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Page publishes every Monday in the Trib p.m., the afternoon edition of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Read this week's copy here, and browse our archives here.


    Contact Carbolic

    thejudge@carbolicsmoke.com

    Carbolic Smoke Ball Staff

    Tim Murray, Founder/Editor-in-Chief
    Bob Haas, Editor
    Chad Hermann, Editorial Director
    • • •
    Sean Cannon, Ace Reporter
    Neal Rosenblat, Writer/Designer
    Todd Shaffer, Staff Writer
    • • •
    Timothy Stefko, Illustrator
    The Voice, Radio Correspondent
    The Mayor, Radio Personality
    • • •
    The Hon. Judge Rufus Peckham, Founder Emeritus

    Carbolic Wear


    Carbolic WDVE Podcast