John and Sarah Make a Porno

PHOENIX - The McCain-Palin campaign has run out of money, and on Monday the Republican candidates were evicted from their Phoenix campaign headquarters. 

To inject desperately needed cash into their moribund run for the White House, McCain suggested to Palin that they make their own amateur pornographic film. McCain and Palin would assume the leads, and their friends would co-star. McCain invited Rep. Barney Frank to participate “in order to lend verisimilitude” to the film’s gay sex scenes. 

Pundits criticized McCain for picking Palin as his co-star because he bypassed numerous porno actresses who have far more extensive experience with foreign objects during sex. McCain said he selected Palin “because she’s a maverick who took on and made out with the leaders of her party in Alaska, and because she’s got a great pair of tits.”

While filming in Phoenix, McCain interrupted a sex scene with Palin when he received news that the subprime mortgage crisis had worsened. He immediately suspended the production and rushed to the airport to return to Washington but was arrested for indecent exposure.

The McCain-Palin porno is believed to mark the first time a candidate running for president on a major party’s ticket has appeared in an adult film since Bob Dole starred in the direct-to-video adult comedy spoofing his age and erectile dysfunction, “Help, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get It Up!”

Oct 29

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