VP Debate: Palin Permitted to Select Own Moderator to Balance Gwen Ifill, Taps Saint Paul, Co-Author of The New Testament

ST. LOUIS - The  Commission on Presidential Debates allowed Sarah Palin to pick her own moderator for last night’s Vice Presidential debate to balance Gwen Ifill, whose partiality was called into question when it was revealed she is writing a flattering book about Barack Obama. Palin chose Saint Paul, co-author of the New Testament and apostle to the Gentiles.

Palin told the Commission that she had met Saint Paul in 2006 at a book signing for his best seller “Letter to Timothy” at Borders Books in Juneau and was “very impressed with his knowledge of the Bible, doggone it.”  She also vouched for his impartiality: “I am certain that Saint Paul will be fair to both me, a devout Christian, and Senator Biden, whose compromises with his purported faith are legion.”

When the debate started, Saint Paul quickly became the focus of attention due to his peculiar behavior.  Halfway through Senator Biden’s first response, Saint Paul put his hands over his ears and shouted at the top of lungs: ”You are a resounding gong and a clanging cymbal.  Please, please shut up, you twit!”  A stunned Gwen Ifill motioned for the debate to continue as if nothing happened.

Several minutes later while Governor Palin was responding to a question, Saint Paul audibly muttered that Biden was “smirking a most hateful smirk,” then he sprang to his feet and lunged at the senator, knocking him to the floor.

“Now I shall teach you what Damascus felt like!” he shouted, referring to the event marking his conversion to Christianity when he was knocked from his horse.  Saint Paul struck Biden about the head with his staff until security guards pulled him away and led him off stage. 

Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly immediately came on stage to fill in for Saint Paul and continued beating Biden about the head.

Oct 3

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