Iran’s President Learns Larry King is a Jew, Murders Him On the Air

NEW YORK - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, visiting New York to address the U.N. General Assembly, murdered CNN talk icon Larry King last night while making an exclusive appearance on Larry King Live. 

The incident occurred about halfway through the interview when Mr. King asked Mr. Ahmadinejad if he thought President Bush was a “schmuck.”  Suddenly, the Iranian president’s eyes glared, and he sprang from his chair. 

“Are you a Jew, Larry?”  he challenged Mr. King in perfect English.  “Tell me the truth: are you a Jew?”  Middle East experts later said that Mr. King’s use of the word “schmuck” triggered Mr. Ahmadinejad’s reaction.

Mr. King’s eyes widened, his hands trembled, and his face turned white.  “I was born a Jew,” Mr. King meekly replied.

Mr. Ahmadinejad whipped out a saber he had concealed in his pants and quickly slit Mr. King’s throat.  Mr. King slumped to the floor and let out a death gurgle.  Blood spewed from his throat.

Security guards charged the set.  “Diplomatic immunity!” Mr. Ahmadinejad cried, raising his hands in the air.  “Diplomatic immunity!” 

Mr. King was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital where he was pronounced dead. 

Mr. Ahmadinejad was questioned by New York police and released, due to diplomatic immunity.

CNN announced that Larry King Live will be renamed Larry King Dead, and that tomorrow night’s annual tribute to Mickey Rooney, with guests Elizabeth Taylor and Debbie Reynolds, would be guest-hosted by Charles Grodin.

Sep 24

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