Investor Gobbles Up Remnants Of Lehman Brothers, Sets Sights on Bailey Bros. Building & Loan

BEDFORD FALLS - While panicked traders around the world watched as stocks continued their free-fall, investor Henry F. Potter, the self-described richest man in the county, calmly went about his work of acquiring more assets.

Mr. Potter gobbled up Merrill Lynch on Monday; last night he took over the remnants of defunct Lehman Brothers.

Financier Warren Buffet summed up Mr. Potter’s modus operandi: “Don’t you see what’s happening? Potter isn’t selling. Potter’s buying. And why? Because we’re panicking and he’s not.”

Insiders say Mr. Potter will now go after what he calls “the big kahuna,” the storied banking firm Bailey Bros. Building & Loan, which has teetered on the brink of bankruptcy since the death of its beloved CEO Peter Bailey last year. 

“He’s already got charge of the bank. He’s got the bus line. He’s got the department store.  And now he’s after us,” said Mr. Bailey’s son, George, 20, an employee of Bailey Brothers who is said to have long impeded Mr. Potter’s efforts to assume control of the company.  

Mr. Potter is attempting to discredit Mr. Bailey by publicizing his possible homosexual relationship with an older man Mr. Bailey refers to as his ”angel.”  Mr. Potter has also released photographs of Mr. Bailey consorting with local prostitute Violet Bick, who is said to have a heart of gold.

Not everyone is happy about the prospect of Mr. Potter taking over the helm at Bailey Brothers.  “If Potter gets hold of [Bailey Brosthers], there’ll never be another decent house built in this town,” explained a long-time Bailey Brothers customer who resembles the late actress Ellen Corby. 

All may not be smooth sailing for Mr. Potter.  Banking regulators confirmed that he is under investigation in connection with the theft of $8,000 from Gerald O’Hara, owner of the plantation known as Tara.

Sep 17

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