Pope Changes His Name; Benedict XVI Now Known as Benedict Ocho Cinco

VATICAN CITY - The Vatican Press Office issued a statement yesterday announcing that Pope Benedict XVI, heir to Saint Peter, Vicar of Christ on earth and head of the Roman Catholic Church, has decided to change his name.

“From this day forward, the Holy Father wishes to be known as Pope Benedict Ocho Cinco.”

The Pope filed the necessary paperwork with the Vatican City Recorder of Deeds office in the Vatican City government center on Friday. Vatican insiders said the Pope initially thought about changing his name to “Pope Benedict He Hate Me,” in tribute to former NFL running back Rod Smart, but changed his mind at the last minute.

The Pope declined to reveal the motivation behind the name change when staff members inquired. “It is what it is,” was his cryptic response.

The news sent shock waves around the world. Collectors of Vatican memorabilia were trading in heavy volume on Internet sites like Ebay. Adidas, which manufactures all officially licensed Roman Catholic Church merchandise, is expected to have new “Benedict Ocho Cinco” jerseys, caps, and sweatshirts in stores by All Souls Day.

Church authorities said this is the first time a Pope has legally changed his name, although other Popes have contemplated the move. “In 1994, Pope John Paul II toyed with the idea of referring to himself as ‘The Pontiff formerly known as Pope John Paul II,’ but eventually dropped the idea,” said Cardinal Ken Boyer.

Sep 15

  • About Carbolic

    “One of America’s great web sites.” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

    “The city’s equivalent of The Onion.” The New York Times

    “They’re some of the world’s funniest men, and they deserve our attention.” Rick Sebak, PBS

    Carbolic on Air

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Report airs every Friday — mornings with Jim Krenn and Randy Baumann, afternoons with Sean McDowell — on Pittsburgh’s top-rated radio station, 102.5 WDVE. Listen to the broadcasts here, and sample the archives here.


    Carbolic in Print

    The Carbolic Smoke Ball Page publishes every Monday in the Trib p.m., the afternoon edition of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Read this week's copy here, and browse our archives here.


    Contact Carbolic

    thejudge@carbolicsmoke.com

    Carbolic Smoke Ball Staff

    Tim Murray, Founder/Editor-in-Chief
    Bob Haas, Editor
    Chad Hermann, Editorial Director
    • • •
    Sean Cannon, Ace Reporter
    Neal Rosenblat, Writer/Designer
    Todd Shaffer, Staff Writer
    • • •
    Timothy Stefko, Illustrator
    The Voice, Radio Correspondent
    The Mayor, Radio Personality
    • • •
    The Hon. Judge Rufus Peckham, Founder Emeritus

    Carbolic Wear


    Carbolic WDVE Podcast