ATLANTA – The Weather Channel has hired singer Tina Turner as a special correspondent to file reports on Hurricane Ike, who is delivering a heavy beating to Cuba as we go to press and is expected to batter the United States when he arrives sometime later this week.
Weather Channel Hurricane expert Dr. Greg Forbes said Ms. Turner is “the logical choice” to report on Ike’s “rain” of terror.
“Ike is packing quite a punch right now, and it appears he will be administering a heavy blow to the Southeast coast. As someone who has absorbed, and survived, the kind of terrifying punishment that Ike can dish out, Ms. Turner will provide an example of the enduring qualities of the human spirit to viewers and victims who may be facing his wrath in the days ahead.”
Dave Corbett of Big Shot Management is a spokesman for Ms. Turner. He said his client was looking forward to the challenge of performing on camera in the face of one-hundred twenty mile winds.
“Ms. Turner uses an industrial strength glue to keep her wig secure, but she may have to think twice about wearing her thigh-high mini-dress.”
He refused to say whether Ms. Turner was capable of making a quick get-away if conditions deteriorated rapidly, in her trademark nine-inch heels. “Tina is a resourceful woman,” he said. “If she needs to run from Ike, she can do it. It’s not like she hasn’t done it before.”