NEW YORK - Giles French, a gentleman’s gentleman, was savagely beaten and left for dead in Central Park yesterday by a man witnesses identified as his employer, Bill Davis. 

Mr. Davis, or as he is known to his intimates, “Uncle Bill,” is in police custody.  His attorney, Owen Marshall, counselor at law, called the detainment of his client “unreasonable, unjustifiable, and unlawful.”  He vowed he would have Mr. Davis out on the street in time to resume his duties as a swinging bachelor “by the cocktail hour.” 

The circumstances surrounding the attack on Mr. French are unclear, but this much is known.  Neighbors in the Fifth Avenue building that houses the condominium that Mr. Davis owns, a dwelling he shares with his niece, Cissy, and her two biracial children, overheard shouting and imprecations from behind the door.

“I heard Uncle Bill tell French that if he didn’t take off that . . . apron when he served him his breakfast, he would damn well take it off for him and shove it down his throat,” said one man who refused to give his name. 

“And then Uncle Bill said it was about time somebody told him that nobody is wearing bowlers and tuxedos in Central Park anymore, unless you’re some kind of freak.  Then Mr. French walked out, twirling his umbrella, heading for his daily stroll.  And then I gues he got beat up.” 

Mr. French was taken to Saint Philip Rizzuto Medical Center.  His condition has been upgraded from “critical” to “awfully sore.”

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