Michelle Obama Announces Candidacy for President in 2016

DENVER - Michelle Obama tried to assure America that she and her husband are “exactly like you, only we’re beautiful, famous and wealthy,” on the opening night of the 2008 Democratic National Convention. 

“What struck me when I first met Barack was that even though he had this funny name, his family was just like mine,” she told the rapt delegates in a prime time address.  “And, yes, like you, I still wonder if it was all an act, because maybe he does have some terrorist blood in him, given the name and all.”  Then she looked directly into the camera and banged the podium:  “But you have my every assurance that if I ever see the slightest indication that he’s a terrorist, I will not hesitate to hand him over to your justice.”  Mrs. Obama’s promise touched off a ten minute celebration on the floor of the convention center.

“The Barack Obama I know today is the same man I fell in love with 19 years ago, in the backseat of his grandmother’s Bonneville, as we made hot, sweaty, yes, forbidden love,” she said misty-eyed.  “And I believe Barack will be an extraordinary president, just as he is an extraordinary lover.  And to you white women out there, yes, it’s true what they say,” she winked, prompting chants of “Michelle!  Michelle!  Michelle!”

After mentioning her husband four times in the first minute of her speech, Mrs. Obama devoted the remaining seventeen minutes to one subject, Michelle Obama. 

“In my own life, in my own small way, I’ve tried to give back to this country that has given me so much. That’s why I am announcing tonight that I will run for the presidency in 2016, following my husband’s two terms in office.” 

The announcement set off a demonstration lasting forty minutes, but it caught presumptive vice presidential nominee Joe Biden off-guard.  Mr. Biden quickly rose from his chair and stormed out of the convention center.  He was seen outside angrily poking an Obama aide in the chest and shouting at the top of his lungs “that wasn’t the deal.”

Aug 26

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