Jerry Lewis Telethon Proceeds To Be Diverted To Ed McMahon

LAS VEGAS - Jerry Lewis announced that the proceeds from next weekend’s Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon will be diverted from muscular dystrophy research and be used to bail out Ed McMahon, the perennial Telethon anchor, whose fight to avoid foreclosure on his Beverly Hills mansion has gained world-wide attention.

Some muscular dystrophy patients expressed outrage over the news.  “We can’t believe Jerry would abandon us to help a rich friend avoid losing one of his mansions,” said muscular dystrophy patient Noah Swayne, 19. 

Mr. Lewis was baffled by the patients’ anger.  “I mean, I’ve raised $2 billion for these people – exactly how much money do these MD patients need anyway?  Well, I have a message for them: I fully intend to use the same maudlin, sappy tactics I’ve employed for 43 years to tug at America’s heartstrings for MD patients to bring a little sunshine back to Ed’s life.” 

Contacted by a reporter for this story, Mr. McMahon just chuckled.

Aug 25

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