Woodsy Owl Arrested in Tiananmen Square; U.S. Forest Service Spokesbird Roughed Up By Chinese Police

BEIJING - Woodsy Owl, who is attending these Olympics as part of a U.N. sponsored Air Quality Monitoring Group, was taken into custody by Chinese police yesterday after he attempted to distribute pamphlets in Tiananmen Square urging citizens to “give a hoot, don’t pollute.” 

Witnesses saw Woodsy standing alone in front of a Chinese army tank that had been summoned by authorities to discourage his activities.  When Woodsy refused to move, authorities moved in.  After a brief struggle, Woodsy was wing-cuffed and thrown into the back of a police car.  His whereabouts at this time are unknown. 

Mr. Owl, who has spent his entire life spreading a message of environmental responsibility, expressed his disgust at the dangerous amounts of particulates in the air here to anyone who would listen.

  “He has approached me on numerous occasions, shaking his head from side to side and flapping his wings with great ferocity,” said U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, who is attending these events as a spectator. 

“Although he is incapable of speaking, I gathered from the intensity of his movements that he was upset about something.  I guess all this unclear air got the best of him.” 

Secretary Rice issued a formal request on behalf of the U.S. government to release Woodsy in time for this year’s Arbor Day festivities.  The Chinese government has not issued a response.

Aug 21

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