President, First Lady Victimized By Jewel Theft at Olympics; Charlie Chan to Investigate

BEIJING - President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush had their valuables stolen from a hotel safe in a daring overnight swindle.  Ling Ting Tong, Head of Security at the Long March Inn, where the President and Mrs. Bush are staying for the duration of the Olympics, was at a loss to explain how such a crime could occur.

“Fortunately, Mr. Charlie Chan is in town visiting relatives. On behalf of the Chinese government, I have asked for his assistance in solving this baffling case.”

Mr. Chan, an Asian-American private eye who is an expert on the inscrutable ways of the Orient, said he would be delighted to help.

 When Mr. Chan met with reporters this morning, he was careful to note that every employee at the Long March Inn remained a suspect.

“Innocent grass may conceal snake,” he said, while members of the media scribbled away in their notebooks.

Mr. Chan also cautioned against making snap judgments on the motive of the perpetrator.  “Hasty conclusion like toy balloon.  Easy blow up, easy pop.” 

Informed that Mr. Chan had been retained in an effort to retrieve his personal effects, President Bush expressed relief.  “Charlie’s a good guy.  I’ve followed his adventures for years, ever since I saw him in ‘Charlie Chan at the Dry Cleaners.’  I think that was the one where he recovered the missing tuxedo jacket, wasn’t it?” he asked before getting into his limousine. 

Following resolution of the Olympic caper, be sure to catch Charlie Chan’s next appearance in Twentieth Century Fox’s “At the Insurance Agency.”

Aug 15

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